头痛啊~~

Beh tahan oo..本小姐又头痛拉~~不知怎样，刚刚从休息中起身，醒来做在电脑前看着MSN有人在nudge我..Mana tau suddenly headache liao.. Aiks..到底要我怎样..真是啊~~唉..头痛吃panadol..我又没有panadol..怎么搞的..算了吧..就让它自己慢慢好起来吧..(无奈）

说说今天吧..Erm..Everyday is almost d same..woke up at 8.51am although i had set d alarm to 8.15am..Coz couldnt wake up baa..(lazy pig >.<) Went to campus nearly 10am coz my fren nid to fetch her hsemates go to campus along.. Wt special on 2day was we were having our tutorial class at Block E as Block B had been used for d degree students' examination purpose.. Well..quite weird whn we were having tutorial in lecture hall..Mayb UTAR no any smaller class room other than those..So nvm la..Jz sit dwn n listen to tuitor.. Talked bout alkanes n alkenes.. A bit complicated..Wt cis-trans laa..cyclohexane la..Bla bla bla..I think i nid to do some revision bout d following chap coz it is getting harder..Nid to use up some time to digest them.. Hehe..

Well..One of my frenz, Miss HSH was nt comin for d whole day nia..Yesterday she posted in fb said there r lots of movies in pps she nt yet watch.. Guess she is watching them 1 by 1 in home..really geng dao..Dunno hw to describe liao.. xD

After tat, my fren n I were heading to maths lecture..New chap agn.. 1st order differentatiol equations..is almost d 延续版的differentation.. If ur differentation is good, it means u wil b no prob in this prob.. Haiz..my maths nt so good d la..Differentation oso mati mati d.. But luckily i stil manage to do those ques in this new chap..Muahaha..

Saw the cute guy agn in campus..Yoohooo.. Hmm..mayb i was purposely walked out frm lecture hall since our PSP lecturer nt yet arrive..meh went out to c whether i gt tat lucky or nt can c him 2day..Had been stay on d same street for half yr thn i knew it last month.. Does it make sense? Mayb for u all it doesnt make sense at all.. BUtt..I am a 宅女lo..Can stay in d room for d whole day.. Jz sit in front of com oso can use up my whole day.. U c.. Kua zhang or nt? Lolzz.. Anyway, it is nice to get to know tat guy..We gt to know each other in a church's occasion.. Actually we already d presence of each other in writing for sc lecture.. Oni both of us nt dare to talk each other gua.. Haha.. I wil shy shy d ba.. (most of d students who same writing for sc lecture r boysss) If too automatically to step forward to know other boys, mayb ur impression for other gals nt good d baa.. Noe d la..If u too initiative, mayb ppl wil tot tat u r v "hiao".. Padahal u oni wn to make some new frenz instead of having same lecture for d whole sem oso dunno their name, rite?

Butt..we nid to take care others' feelings too..My frenz here all nt so initiative to make some new frenz d.. Stay wf them for a long time had change my personality gradually..BUt nt too much laa.. Jz a bit.. I am still who I am.. talk too much liao~~ Haha..

Bac to d topic..tat cute guy a.. Actually he is nt my cup of coffee definitely..Tall, gt winkles when smile n he looks lik武侠in the movie.. Suits to bcum old ancient character.. Haha.. We did getting closer whn we started our conversation in msn.. Coz if at public a..his frenz sure will keep teasing on him.. ( It is quite normal to get to know more male frenz, rite? BUtt wat they did will make u quite embarassing sometimes..) Anyway, i managed to chat wf him for 1 minｉ thn i headed to wachroom.. Nt too obvious to be seen tat i went out to look for him.. Haha.. xD

难熬的ＰＳＰ终于给我熬过去了．．赶快回家冲凉就睡觉了．．因为计划中是要起身做功课ａｆｔｅｒ　ｔａｋｉｎｇ　ａ　ｓｈｏｒｔ　ｂｒｅａｋ．．ｍａｎａ　ｔａｕ起身做在电脑面前，一位不常联络的朋友竟然拨电话给我．．不止一个，还是两个ｔｉａｍ．．就跟其中一个比较好聊的就讲久一点咯．．另一个呢就很不识时的拨电话插进来．．没办法，也只好敷衍一下他．．毕竟也互相认识．．今天无端端打电话来也有可能他想起我吧．．ＸＤ　讲了一下，电话又断掉了．．我猜应该他的手机又快要没有钱了吧．．算了，就ｓｅｎｄ封ｍｓｇ叫他早点睡．．因为１２点多还打来给我毕竟不像他的作风．．（他习惯早睡，不像我来到这里读书睡觉时间全部搞乱了）Ａｆｔｅｒ　ｔａｔ，ｔｈｎ　ｃｏｎｔｉｎｕｅ　ｂｌｏｇｇｉｎｇ．．真想一觉睡到天亮，可是我还没有做完功课啊～～Ｔ．Ｔ

Ｐ／Ｓ；今天心情ｍａ　ｍａ　ｄｅｉ．．所以也打得很乱．．掺一点英文和国语．．真的名副其实的ｂａｈａｓａ　ｒｏｊａｋ．．猜想现在的年轻人都是这样的吧．．Ｈｅｈｅ．．希望明天的ｍａｔｈｓ　ｑｕｉｚ可以顺利过关吧～～请别出到太难啊！！

最近还好吗？

挑一张耶诞卡写上满满祝福的话

地址写的是心底 你能不能收到它

天有点冷 风有点大 城市宁静而喧哗

这一个冬天我得一个人走回家

问自己习惯了吗

没有你每到夜里回声变得好大

有没有什麽好方法让寂寞更听话

你最近还好吗

是不是也在思念里挣扎

你说会记得我 还记得吗

你最近还好吗

忙碌吗累吗 心还会痛吗

如果真不得已忘了我

快向快乐出发

有再多的牵挂都已没有权利表达

旧情人给的问候比陌生人还尴尬

昨天远了 明天还长 回忆模糊但巨大

这样的深夜眼泪要怎样不流下

问自己习惯了吗

没有你每到夜里回声变得好大

有没有什麽好方法让寂寞更听话

你最近还好吗

是不是也在思念里挣扎

你说会记得我 还记得吗

你最近还好吗

忙碌吗累吗 心还会痛吗

如果真不得已忘了我

快向快乐出发

你最近还好吗

是不是也在思念里挣扎

你说会记得我 还记得吗

你最近还好吗

忙碌吗累吗 心还会痛吗

如果真不得已忘了我

快向快乐出发

最近，电脑里不断播放这首歌..（虽然内容是述说着女生对前男友的思念）

看着歌词..

心里有满满的感触..

不在我身边的朋友们，

你们还好吗？

没有你们在我的身边，

日子过得很烦闷和显..

面对那些人，

我逼不得已伪装自己..

身边虽然有不少的同学..

每天与他们形影不离..

可是那个感觉..

依然好像少了某种东西..

虽然地球依然的自转，

太阳依然从东边升起，

日子依然一天一天那样过去，

心里的空虚依然填满了它..

看回我们在中学嘻嘻哈哈的日子..

那些单纯的日子..

穿着白衣蓝裙、白衣青裤、白衣白裙..

绑着可爱的马尾、

而男生们顶着一颗光溜溜的头..

在食堂里霸了一整桌..

"Juz for 5 Berlian"..

在课室里，

大家都会在抽屉里放些花生、饼干..

总是趁着老师不注意的时候偷吃..

考卷被派回来的时候，

一起被罚抄..

"谁已经抄完了的，帮忙一下耶.."

大家都不分你我的，

互相帮忙..

在这里，

没有办法..

人生地不熟..

一直到现在都交不到知心的朋友.

一个能够会去吃晚餐之前还会问候你是否吃饱了吗..

在这里，

就像刺猬一样伪装着自己，

才不会给机会让别人伤害你..

就算心里是多么的脆弱，

也答应自己不要那么轻易让别人看到自己的软弱..

无论他们是多么的无视你的存在..

也不要在他们的面前掉眼泪..

当你掉眼泪的瞬间，

他们的心里就会暗暗地窃喜..

这就是这里的生存之道..

(也有可能是我自己太悲观吧）

无论如何，

身在别处的朋友..

希望你们依然能够坚强地活下去，

迎接每一天新的挑战..

夜晚来临时，

别忘记抬起你们的头，

望着天上的星星..

要记得其中一颗是我哦~~ (^^)

还有请别忘了我们之间的承诺..

说好了要在2016年再次聚会..

就算身在何处的你们，

别忘了到时要抽出时间与老朋友们见见面..

愿我们之间的友谊长存..

干杯！！！！！

Hahaa..

生日快乐，爸爸

太久没写部落格了...拍谢哦..本小姐太懒了,有时脑袋明明有很多东西想写，可是就是那只懒惰虫在做怪~~（懒惰就懒惰啦..还要那么多借口.. xD)

05.12.2009

爸，生日快乐..原谅我不能在你的身边和你过生日..早上一起身，就赶紧和你通电话了..听到你的声音，是多么的实在.. "Happy birthday to u..Happy birthday to u..Happy birthday to daddy..Happy birthday to u.." Mana tau 你却答我：“Girl, cheh.. 你都不在这里的..庆祝有什么用..我的礼物勒？在哪里啊？” 听到你那么说，我的心里好像被针刺了一下..不像别人家，我们家从来没有那个习惯为生日的家庭成员庆祝..可是..这是第一次我那么想待在爸你的身边与你唱生日歌,吹生日蜡烛，许下生日愿望..无奈的是，我处在与你2300多公里以外的地方..自个儿在这里过日子..

爸，好想念你那很唠叨的性格..每次都管东管西的..回去斗湖放假时，有时和朋友出去你都要管..还说要我在12点回来..有时，真的被你那烦人的性格弄得我很火大..(我那么大了，不要再管我太严啦~~）交什么朋友，也要跟你报备一声..我知道，你是希望我带眼识人..不希望我们像报纸上那些无知的女生..被认识的人拐走、强奸、杀害..爸，我知道如何分辨坏人和好人啦..好不好？况且你的女儿我那么粗鲁，暴躁的性格..你觉得有人会惹我吗？哈哈..

我知道，就算我们长大了，在你眼中我们依旧是你心里的心肝宝贝..每次你打完我们,感觉真的很糟糕..心里非常的讨厌你..可是我知道你的心里其实也很不好受..算了吧，我不想继续再写下去了..不然等一下怎么下去拿我的外卖（一边打字一边哭）哈哈~~

Because Of You

I will not make the same mistakes that you did

I will not let myself

Cause my heart so much misery

I will not break the way you did,

You fell so hard

I've learned the hard way

To never let it get that far

Because of you

I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you

I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me

Because of you

I am afraid

I lose my way

And it's not too long before you point it out

I cannot cry

Because I know that's weakness in your eyes

I'm forced to fake

A smile, a laugh everyday of my life

My heart can't possibly break

When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you

I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you

I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me

Because of you

I am afraid

I watched you die

I heard you cry

Because of you, i learn to grow up stronger in love..

Perhaps falling in love is a matter tat i couldnt afford..

It hurts..

N I dn hav d courage to face these anymore..

Could you plz jz let me go..

Tears r scrolling down frm my cheek..

N i can heard d sound of broken glass once agn in this silent night..

Jz let me run away frm u,ok?

I wn to leave you without hesitation..

受伤了..

我受伤了..

真的真的受伤了..

躲在角落里..

独自默默地舔着自己的伤口..

来到这里..

我的身、心、灵都承受着压力..

也不断地不小心弄伤自己..

莫名其妙的瘀青..

莫名其妙的抓痕..

莫名其妙的伤口..

是自己太过不小心吗？

怎么把自己弄伤过后才发觉到呢..

是自己已经忘了痛的感觉是什么吗..

还是我刻意把痛的感觉给忘了..

可是..

身体上的伤害，

有时都不及心灵上所受到的伤害..

被人放弃、遗弃、排挤、遗忘..

心里是多么的难受..

就像胸口被人捶打的那种难以呼吸的感觉..

没有家人以及朋友在身边..

惟有自己照顾自己..

希望自己以后得小心一点..

不要这么大头虾了..

懵懵懂懂受了伤却不知道..

P/S: 心情真的很沉重当我写着这篇文章..不知道为什么.. xD

The 3rd month

Being here for the 3rd month.. Wondering hw m i stand wf all d problems n difficulties here.. since i am not used to solve problem myself b4 tat.. Agn, life is so bc here.. Every week gt lab report to b submitted.. Some more gt mid term test.. n followed by exam which hold on Sept.. Although i always tell my frenz tat i really enjoy d life here, but still i cant cheat myself.. Even though it sounds v interesting whn we r free frm our parents, no any restriction anyway.. BUt still i wish tat thr is a person who wil control me myself frm being "wild"..

Coming here for 3 months liao.. Wat can i get frm here is d experience of living 2gether as a group.. meaning tat human cant live without companion.. Coz we nid to communicate wf others..Hw can we jz close ourselves in a closed room, rejecting others who try to be fren with u.. But i dn ignore d existance of this king of ppl..

Besides tat, i get to noe some frenz here.. Classmates, some course mates but stil i cant remeber their name.. Church members n some other frenz.. At least can find them come out yam cha whn i am boring or nid come help.. Lolz.. This is 1 of frens' function actually.. Haha.. ANyway, d presence of them really colours n cheer up my life here..

Hmm.. I oso went to penang last last weekend.. Spending more thn 1 day thr.. slept in a fren, Mike's hse.. Asking him to bring us go shopping coz we nid to buy formal attire 4 presentation actually.. So din really enjoy ourselves at penang thr.. Almost spent all d time on d road nia.. Mayb we were goin thr not at d right time.. Hmm..nvm thn.. Nxt time thn go agn.. Hhaa.. ( too rich is it)

Oh yea.. Thx to all my frenz who were helping me to celebrate my 18th birthday on 19 july.. I was thinking tat ther should b no1 wil help me celebrate as we were goin to hav econs test on d nxt 2 day.. BUt still of u came.. I really do appreciate it.. N we played v crazy on tat day.. Played wf d icing cream.. Wiped on my hair.. Taking photos wf cute wu lin.. N many more.. Hard to describe them in words.. But it will curved in my heart..

Btw, i guess it was d summary for d July.. Lazy to say liao.. Lolzz

Emptyness In My Heart

In a starry night where i am in the foreign place, darkness and emptyness engulfed me.. My heart was sank as i was drowned in the endless assignment and lab report.. Where should i realease my tension as here is no longer my own place.. Sharing a room wf a fren who was not really known with each other in d beginning.. Until nw we hav the same understanding n opinion towards some matter.. Even though sometimes i would not agree with her decision but still this is the lesson i should learn.. Learn to respect each other and also to accept their mindset.. Diff ppl hav diff perspectives and points of view.. N frm them we may learn smtg.. (Talking lik a mom nw) XD

Btw, stil left 99 days to go nw.. I miss my home honestly.. Unlike some of my group mate, they can jz go home whenever they want.. As their home jz take few hours to reach.. Mom, i miss your soup n dishes so much.. N at here i nid to learn to interact wf each other n oso being independant.. Gosshhh.. I hate this lesson but unfortunately this is the way tat every1 should go through within their life.. Aiks..

Empty?!! I nid some liquid or so called "love" to fill my heart.. I nid some support but who giv me the support??!! Who??!! Frenz? Mayb but wat i nid the most is the embrace frm God.. I miss u God n miss my church at Twu de.. D atmosphere of the church here is completely diff frm my church.. I stil cant the feel the feeling of home over here.. Diff atmosphere n oso d youth culture.. Diff ppl n diff mode of preeching.. all of these i nid to learn t adapt with but plz giv me some time.. K?

N now is 03.07am.. Agn, it is raining outside here.. Its time to sleep nw n may God bless me in the following entire days.. Strengthening my spirit n my soul.. Rain down on me.. rain down on me.. Here is the presence i can see.. Touch me agn, Lord.. Amen!!