等待

等待..
无止尽的等待..
有人，
为了等待曾经承诺会与他们长相厮守的另一半,
付上了一生的时间..

等待..
等待公车的到来..
等待捷运的来到..
等待着去到目的地..
这一切，
对当时有objective要达到的人们都是值得的..

等待..
等待回家的日子..
等待遇到白马王子的那一天..
等待了一次又一次..
我们始终还是待在等待机会来临的那个level..

朋友，

我回来了..

我会好好珍惜我们在一起的时间

哪怕是那么短短的几个小时..

因为和你们相处的时候是我假期里最好的回忆..

过了这次假期，

不知还有多久我们才可以再聚在一起..

高谈着彼此的八卦..

交换彼此的心得..

彼此的经历..

p/s:永远爱你们哦.. Muacksss.. Haha..xD

原来..

原来

我的人缘那么不好..

这次我终于发现了..

要约朋友一起去 pasar malam可是却没有kaki 陪..

心真的有受伤一下的咯..

原来

我没有什么真正的朋友..

那些可以陪你一起去疯疯癫癫的..

去party 啦..

去一个陌生的地方大吼大叫..

发泄心情啦..

去疯狂地血拼..

去看帅哥啦..

一起哈拉聊天讲八卦..

一起温习功课..

一起分享心事..

好久好久..

都没有这样地过生活..

原来

我跟陌生的年纪相仿的新朋友没有什么话题讲的哦..

原本还以为年纪相近，

应该有什么话题可以说得吧..

可是，farewell dinner 时的家豪和伟成却让我感觉去拿脸贴去别人的冷屁股..

好伤我的心哦..

Haizz..

算了..

可能真的没话聊了吧..

毕竟我们之间的生活都没有交集..

也不可以怪人家..

只怪自己之前没有和人一家好好沟通下..

原来

原本以为有可能喜欢上一个人时，

可是因为某些原因让我裹足不前..

因为

我想要的男友类型完全不是现在的这个人的style

算了..

这些东西还是随缘吧..

是你的,

终究是你的..

不是你的，

再怎样强求还是没用..

就让这一切交给上帝吧..

原来

我是个性格那么烂的人..

不怪得没有什么朋友啦..

可是，

我的大学4年的生活就要这样过吗？

NO WAY!!!

无论如何，

我答应我自己，

要改变我的个性..

不要给人的感觉是那么疏远的..

至少看到别人要笑下都好..

不然被人家说这女的超屌就不好啦..

对bo?

哈哈..

Anyway, 给自己的小小一个建议..

就是多尝试一些新的东西..

对自己的能力要有自信..

来吧！

来做个有自信的女孩吧！

相信自己可以做到别人也可以做到的事..

给自己点鼓励..

;D

The last month in Kampar

The last month in Kampar..
1 yr had over..
no more no less
all of those days are lik jz happened on yesterday..
Time flies..
and all d memories all lik jz projected on d white screen..

23 May 2009
D 1st day i left my hometown, Tawau..
all d way comin frm east msia to west msia..
Chasing my dream..
To have my foundation here..
Though d days are sweet, sour, bitter and spicy..
n stil i managed to conquer them all..
Praise The Lord!!!

Leaving my hometwn,
i jz begin to realize tat home is d best place for me..
Although it is stil a small town for me,
nt much entertainment,
but stil it can let me feel d warmth..
D caring frm family and as well frm frenz..

Although i miss Tawau,
but stil i had adapted myself to d life over here..
Settle everything by myself..
B independant..
Trying to find solution if met any problems..
Cz there is no more parents can help us here..
Wash the clothes, cook soup n dishes..
Though it cant be compared wf the outside restaurant 1..
but stil i feel tat it was THE BEST DISHES i ever eat..
D satisfaction which filled my heart..
Haha..

Kampar
it gave me the 1st impression is v kampung..
cause my hometwn edi can be considered as quite small n xien
but kampar even worst..
haha..
Plz dn mind d comment tat i gav Kampar

But as the days passed by,
Kampar is a nice place to study..
nt much entertainment--> Is to let us concentrate on studies
Eh, come here study or play d o u all..><

Pasar mlm every wed..
We can feel d speciality in this small twn..
All the hawkers wil come to set up their stalls in a deserted field..
Bubble tea, chicken wings....
Lots of special street food we can find here..
Gt to try them 1 by 1 in this comin wed..Wakaka
(OMG!! Gt to b fat d lo..Haha..eat 1st la..keep fit ltr..xD)

Ppl at kampar here..
I do really love the brothers n sisters in Christ here..
Giv me support whn i m weak..
care me whn i m in need..
They are always the 1 who reach their hands to those who nid help..

Dorcas-my CG leader
She's a positive minded person, caring n yet friendly
We can hear the laugh frm her whenever every gathering..
I'll miss her, surely..

Lydia-Dorcas's sister, my CG 2 leader
She's like her sister as well..Hav a good personality too..
Caring as well..
a bit xin ji in doin smtg..
Mayb she want to do well in everything gua..
A perfectionist?? haha..

Ezra Yong Wei
The 1st guy i talked to durin the 1st cell group..
Til nw i oso duno hw come i wil so dare to talk..Lol
Him a..
Love God v much..Caring..
Lik to concern bout politics..
PKR d..So BN cn catch him a..if he done anything wrong..xD
Gave every1 of us his name card lo..So ss nya..Haha
Anyway, i love d smile of him..Quite charming

Zhong yang
A jb guy..talk less in our gathering..
But stil he wil express his idea if gt chance..
An introversion person? Think so..Mayb gua..BUt he wont shy if we ask him to talk nia..
Ahh..suan liao..

Kai BIn
A tall n thin guy..
If d strong wind come a..sure d 1st 1 being blown away..Haha
He is lik a big bro..
wil help u to analyze some matters b4 u do it..
Quite a funny person too..

Presley
A nice bro as well..
If we spend lots of time together, sure i'll ask him bcum my k bro
He is nice..but sometimes always say me 38..==
Really swt lo him..
I'll nvr 4get his nerd look whn he cut his hair once..haha..really quite noob wf tat lo..xD
Hope he wont mind if he saw this..
I 4gt his course twice in 2 days..Though he is ktar kia..mana tau is utar kia lai geh..
Kaki nang la..
jangan marah ba boss..Haha

Isaac
A tall n muscular guy as well..wf a spectacle which suits him well
Tot he wont smile whn saw him 1st time during the first praise n worship in CCC kampar..
BUt d smile he gav to me had totally change my impression at all..
Quite nice xia geh..
Lik a big bro oso..
if gt prob find him should be no prob gua..
although i nvr trouble him..Haha..

Luen Heng Joel
A fair guy who wearing a spec too..
Nice and gentleman..
Love to pink shirt if nt wrong la..In my mind..Haha..
Jz finished his industrial training n came to join the farewell dinner..
really nid to thank him..

Jia Hao ( ZHi Hui???)
Haha..guess tat's d name of d gal he likes gua..
Jz knew this ba gua durin d dinner jz nw..Hope he wont mind it la..
Keep teasing him since jz nw..Hehe..
A spec guy too..always come to cell group wf his hometown fren=coursemate=roomate, Wei Cheng
Both of them a..
cant differentiate the name of them in d beginning..
Cz both oso weat spec nia..
But nw at least i knew it jo..Hehe..

Wei Cheng
A shy person too..in my opinion la..
Cz he seldom talk to me nia..
talk not more thn 10 sentences wf him b4 today..
haha..so jz nw at least i begin the conversation wf him and both of us gt talk dao la..
If nt, really regret lo..Same group so many months but din talk dao lots..
macam stranger jiang..
Nt good d ma..
let ppl c tiok sabahan nt friendly jiang..
Haha..
Ayway, the spec suits him fit as well..v ngam him..D qi zhi..Si si wen wen geh..Hehe..

Ling Si
My dearest sis as well..
I'll surely miss her..
although d time we spend together nt tat much, but stil i cn feel d sincerity frm her..
She was nt tat friendly whn 1st known her..
bUt as the time passes by,
she began to serve God n improve her soul life by attending those talk..
Even i m a diciple of God 4 few yrs i oso din feed myself wf God's words..
Really feel sorry wf tat lo..
Cant compare wf those who jz known Jesus..
God, i promised u tat i'll follow ur every footsteps frm nw..
Wil join every gathering n oso praise n worship..
Cz u had mentioned it in Bible..(forgot tat verse jo..xD)

Jing Lu
I'm stil new to her actually..
Jz spend few times wf her durin d gathering..
Din talk much to her as well..
Talented gal
Noe 大提琴 nia..BRAVO!!!
And if nt wrong, she begin to learn guitar recently..
Haiz..rupa-rupanya i duno her well geh..
Really sayang lo..gt time spend together but din do it..
Nvm la..sure gt chance nxt time geh..Hehe

Shi Hao
D guy who have the birthday ltr than me geh..
We celebrated it together last yr..Hehe..i stil remembered tat..
In golden sand tiam..
A funny guy too..Dn c him diam diam thr horr..
If he begin to talk, scare dao u oso gt nia..
Haha..
tats y ppl always said tat dn judge the book by its cover..

Denniz
His symbol-the small eyes but yet cute..
A bit chubby but suits him too..Haha..
开心果
HIs laugh could rock the ceiling if smtg is making him feel hilarious..Haha..
Fair enough..Gf is Joanna who jz came bac frm d mission, North Thailand..
work at danish hse nw..
Self-motivated and self-directed person lai geh..
Hope all ur wish can achieve in this yr, Bro!!
God bless

P/S: Thanks agn for all the brothers n sisters for the farewell dinner..For those who i din mentioned here d..Nt u r nt important in my heart..Jz bcz tat i m bc havin exam nw..so din describe u all here..N i believed tat i'll nvr 4gt u guys face..Name duno la..Haha..depends on hw frequently m i on fb lo..Lets get connected in fb la..Lets care each other frm fb..HEhe.. Thx agn..I'll miss u all..indeed..Muackss..

今年想完成的19件事

即将踏入19岁的女生花样年华（还花样年华？）的年头里，心里想完成的19件事:

1. 能够找到大学生活里的知己，分享生活周遭的喜, 怒, 哀, 乐..不管发生什么事情,至少有个人愿意成为你的耳朵，借他/她的肩膀让我靠..

2. 努力储蓄，让户口有4位数..不乱乱花钱在无谓的事上..

3. 改变自己的坏习惯, 多对别人微笑..（因为曾被异性朋友说我不笑的时候样子很凶，妈生我下来就是这样子嘛..啊怎么改呢) ---->以前的想法..哈哈..

4. 学习与神说话...不论在哪里..地点,时间..

5. 在大学里可以拿到好成绩..

6. 计划在今年里可以去邦咯岛旅行..就当作是送给自己的19岁生日..不管是迟来的礼物与否.. =)

7. 希望在今年的圣诞节里可以与一群疯狂的朋友一起度过..

8. 有时间研究部落格的格式, 想拥有自己风格的blog..

9. 学习多一种语言，无论是外语还是方言都好..(因为新年去古晋探望亲戚们时，竟被他们笑为什么不会说自己的客家话..很鱼啊!!!!)

10. 可以经营好自己的部落格, 有时间就上上网抒发自己的心情,想法, 烦恼等..

11. 可以扩大交友圈子, 不再只限制于一些朋友..

12. 要多参与朋友们的些聚会..（因为最近的我宅到不行..很懒惰出去, 况且顶着那么热辣辣的太阳,本小姐会顶不顺的啦..)

13. 如果时间允许的话,想多花些时间陪伴家人..毕竟家始终都是最温暖的地方..

14. 努力减肥..希望可以恢复中学时的体重..(本小姐的体重一直在那数目之间上上下下..希望能够恢复55公斤下..Arghhhhhhhh....)

15. 努力变漂漂..无论是在发型上还是....还有, 不要再那么不care男生的眼光.. ;D

16. 努力提升自己的内涵..不要随便乱发脾气, kepo..说粗话？哈哈..

17. Upgrade my english..Will going to sit for the MUET december exam..n get Band 5? I wish i can achieve that target.. =D

18. Get my first boyfriend for my entire life? Hope so~~

19. The last wishes..Perhaps i can fill it up when i think bout it..

p/s: I'll try my best to achieve the above goals in my 19th life..Sheryl Kan, YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! ;D

烂心情

好久没有写部落格了..
是因为之前的新年假期太忙了..
忙得没时间写..
还是我的潜意识告诉我不要在网络上暴露自己太多的情绪..


这几天，
日子真的过得超级xien..
Xien 到不知要做什么好..
回到来kampar这个鸟地方..
心情一直好不起来..

先前是因为冰厨坏掉了..
然后现在是朋友借给我的手机Battery那里的casing松掉..
不知掉到哪里去了..
N thn 现在另一个借我手机的朋友跟我要回她的电话..
我都不知要找什么借口推搪一下..
弄得我真的很内疚..

明明那手机是有放在行李箱的..
还记得我把它放进袋子里的..
可是不知道为什么昨天想到要还给别人时却不见了..
难道是我的房间里晚上有小鬼在走来走去吗..
还是我真的忘了把它带过来这里..
如果真的忘了带过来这里,
那一切就好办了..
只要要求爸爸他们把手机寄过来这里就好了..
只是现在我怕的是手机真的不见了..
OMG!!!!!!!!! Wat the Fcukkkkkkk

总之，
一连串的倒霉事件个个都接踵而来..
我..
已经累了..
难道真的不可以放我一马吗..
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shitttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

是事实还是谎言？

事实..

永远都是那么的残酷的吗？

有些人选择不把真相告诉你，

无非是不想让你担心..

不想让你伤心..

不想让你分心..

不想让你接受不了..

可是,

你们把我想得太脆弱了吧!!!!!

什么不要让我伤心？

这样欺骗着我叫做关心吗？

有时候不闻不问,

有时候发生了事情才告诉我..

这次还要等我自己发现才知道..

算了吧..

你的生与死再也与我无关了..

可是..

心里有时还是想要关心你..

就算在msn短短的聊几句..

我都觉得无所谓..

我都会觉得好开心..

至少你还会想知道我过得好不好..

可是，

刚才看到的那一个画面..

是真的吗？

我不敢亲口问你..

我怕我听不到我想要听的答案..

真的有股想哭的冲动..

Arghhhh!!!!!!!!

怎么办?!!!

半年过去了..

在这里,

我不断地寻找可以代替你的影子..

伤口看起来已经痊愈了..

可是,

不知几时它开始流血..

再加上在这里我有一位同学看起来真的好像你..

有时看到他，

就好像看到你一样..

而他呢..

每次我们一起上课时,

他们一大群朋友都是坐在我们的背后..

由于我们只是同样一个lecture class..

所以到现在我都没有鼓起勇气问他的名字..

有时就默默地望着他..

有时啦..

女孩子哪里可以一直盯着男生看呢？

很拍谢哪..

但是就算望着他，

在他身上的视线从来都不会多过一分钟..

我害怕我会把他当着是你..

我害怕我会继续沉溺在你的当中..

我知道..

我们已经成为了过去式..

下一次..

不,

没有下一次..

是以后都没有机会再在一起了..

可是那可笑的想法有时一直蹦进我的脑袋..

想把它甩掉都不能..

可笑吧？

没想到简琪婷都会有如此的想法..

Aahhhhhhhh...

我要把你忘了!!

把你从我的脑海里赶走..

Shhhh...Get away frm my life!!!

家

家..

对某些人来说,

它就是个建筑物..

累了，

就回家睡个觉..

从不关心庭院里的花儿枯萎了吗..

还是盆栽里的植物是不是又被蛀虫咬坏了..

家..

对某些人来说..

它就是个遮风避雨的地方..

工作累了..

被老板臭骂了一顿..

被同事排挤..

被朋友出卖..

被身边的另一半背叛..

心里有一肚子的火..

心情非常地失落..

意志消沉..

家，

就是个让他们暂时沉淀心情的地方..

想通了,

再出发..

而家,

对我来说..

不止是个建筑物那么简单..

它还是我的避风港..

家里..

有我亲爱的家人们..

还有佣人..

最重要的是..

它给我的那份归属感..

上次大学假期时,

一回到家..

哇..

那种感觉好奇妙...

平时透过电脑与弟弟妹妹他们玩视讯..

才可以看到家里的样子..

现在,

却可以不用透过视讯的镜头就可以触摸到..

离开了家来到陌生的地方来求学..

这还是第一次..

虽然已经半年多了..

可是那个家的感觉还是依然没有那么强烈..

始终都觉得这里不是属于我的..

路上都是我自己一个人在漫步..

遇到不如意的事,

都要自己一个人去面对..

少了家人们在旁的支持..

有时,

做什么都提不起劲来..

软绵绵的..

好脆弱啊..

家..

虽然有时与弟妹吵吵闹闹..

可是就是会让人怀念那很吵人的情景..

至少家里没有那么安静..

还有些存在感..

有时,

爸爸妈妈在唠叨的时候,

总觉得好幸福..

觉得他们的唠叨很顺耳..

至少心里知道这个世界上还有关心我的人..

关心我身边的每一件事..

家..

对我这个在外求学的游子来说在心中是何等重要的地方..

给了我休息的地方..

也给了我温暖的地方..

家..

等我吧!!!

我还有少过一个月的时间就回来了..

就在我回来的时候打开家门迎接我吧!!

Daddy mummy,记得要煮好吃的招待我哦~~

还有我要螃蟹..锅贴..数不尽的美食啊..

不要忘记了..xD

I miss my home so much, indeed..